Things I wonder about that don't make sense

• Men who want sex all the time are horny and women who want sex all the time are considered nympho's
• A white person acting out against a race is considered a racist, yet anyone of colour attacking a white person/people is considered a terrorist

That's all for now... I know there's more to come...

Creve Coeur Lake

I love taking walks around the lake. I my thoughts aren't interrupted when people walk by saying "on your left," I just keep walking...it's ideal to go at any temperature less than 85 degrees...it's 3.7 miles.

It would be the one thing I'd miss about St. Louis. Where else can you find such a haven that takes you away from the hustle and bustle.

Today? I dreamed of being with John Stamos... hahaha

Memories II

• Traffic and Safety with Tej
• er-her, hot shot
• Jackie and I going to pick up Jamie, in our van, to celebrate my 18th birthday and celebrating it at Metropolis
• Driving Jamie home and on the way, driving over someone's lawn/sidewalk/road
• Spending the day with Jamie in Carlsbad and Laguna Beach
• Tej throwing stuffed animals at me at night when we shared a room
• The awesome birthday parties mom would have for us, the fun parties she would throw
• Mom taking her little ducklings shopping with her
• My fun trip to Graceland with mom
• I have memories of daddy too :)

Memories

• I remember all my trips to Santa Barbara. I think if my sister hand't gone to school there, I never would have exlpored it. The best trip was when my older sister, my mom and I all went up and hung out. I love shopping with my mom, she always knows how to do things fun and just knows how to take care of her brood.
• I remember studying with my best friend one night and she was in her pj's, we went to downtown HB and got ice cream.
• Best memory in HS was spending it with my younger sister... I remember we'd go to 5 points and buy Jack Purcells, or go to Coco's and eat...
• Best memory with Jackie is when her and I had lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe in Fashion Island
• I remember we couldn't have Coke without milk, that was dad's rule
• I remember when Tej and I had off for the summer, mom said we couldn't have Coke or the good food until after 12 ( to ensure we were "productive" I guess, what her plan) so, Tej and I would stay in bed till 11:45, put the pizza's in the toaster, get the Coke ready and watch Jenny Jones
• Chilitos and taco snacks....mmmmmmm
• Jamie, giving me my first driving lesson (who knew I REALLY didn't know how to drive!)
• As for my own memory with mom... working with her at Sony and going to the commisary or the lot... just spending time with her

more to come....

My Biggest Pet Peeve...

My biggest pet peeve probably fall under the general category of "lack of common sense." However, to be more specific, my biggest pet peeve is when people are loud knowing others are sleeping.

If I'm sleeping at a time that is normal sleeping time or I am exhausted beyond anything and people know I'm sleeping, I find it utterly and frustratingly rude that they don't even think for one second "let's be quiet, people are sleeping."

This has happened in my own house too when we have guests over. I know, why am I sleeping when we have guests over. These were guests that were entertained by hubby, did their own thing and the only reason I was asleep and not going out was a) I was in a huge depression and b) I was unbelievably exhausted I couldn't lift my head. If that's the case and you know what's up, have the god damn common courtesy to tone down your voice as to not disturb others.

My sleep is important to me because a) I feel I am not getting enough and b) sleep in general is good for a happy healthy life.

This stems from an experience last night. I was at hubby's aunts house in Chicago and about 8 of them had gone to a reception. They came back at around 1am, our poochie started barking, fine. I can accept that. We were sleeping the basement that has no door and people have to walk past the basement entrance to get upstairs. FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS, it was feet pounding, heels clacking (hardwood), dishes being done, talking in loud voices, discussions, etc. Knowing how I immediately think of others especially if they're asleep, is why this bothered me. I know I always respect when others are sleeping or when we need to keep our voices down. It's a common courtesy. These people aren't rude in general but I just think people should really think a little more about my sleep :)

It's my blog, I can bitch.

Recent Rajics

• No one ever said that truth is beautiful
• I'm not saying my life is over, I just don't think it has begun yet

Michael Jackson... what's really going on...

So, my thoughts on the whole MJ funeral.

Forest Lawn was listed as a temporary site. They had the memorial at the Staples Center, initially stating the body might not be there, though the memorial will go on. Then, TMZ reported that the body will not be buried in Forest Lawn and if you see a casket going there it's a decoy. It's not being buried at Neverland Ranch, no one knows where it's being buried.

Here's my thoughts, because though you can let sleeping dogs lie, you don't let dead bodies just float around LA.

I think there was a casket at the memorial, which had no one in it. I think they are going to cremate Michael and spread his ashes, but not tell anyone. How can you NOT have a place to bury a body?

Just my thoughts

No Doubt Concert 07/08/09

Last night's concert was amazing. My friend Allison invited me and I had never been to a "real" concert let alone one in St. Louis. We got lawn seats.

I bought a camera about 4 months back and realized it had this amazing feature where in addition to zoom, it will zoom in 3x more so from the lawn, I got really good pics. I also went up to the area that separated the seats/lawn area and took pictures there. This chick kept trying to make me go back to the lawn, saying I couldn't take pics there, so I left. That was when Paramore was on. I had never heard their stuff before but it's pretty catchy. I guess the No Doubt of the now tweens. Later when No Doubt came on, I went again to that spot because that gal wasn't there. She was some security chick. 10 min later, she comes and tells me to leave. I then walk down the steps, and instead of continuing straight to the lawn, I turn left and head to another set of steps where I was allowed to take pics. One guy asked me how many in my party, I said 2, and he let my friend and I sit in that seats area. Still far from the stage, but now, even better pics.

I never really cared to listen to the No Doubt lyrics before but who knew that 10-12 years later they would speak to me. It felt so refreshing to see a) Hollywood people, b) people from my hood and just hearing the songs, seeing the passion in her life, seeing where she's come from, after Tony Kanal. I felt so motivated to want to work out, get healthy, and for some reason when I came home, I could not stop chanting and believing "I will be successful at voice acting, I will be successful at voice acting" and I WILL be successful at it. I need to get to LA my home, my calling and be the best I can be.

Something about last night, sharing it with Allision, enjoying the songs, having a good laugh, sharing/taking pictures, was just a good girls day out. I couldn't have gone with a better person. In fact, I'm really glad she invited me out.

I know people talk about concerts, songs, etc "changing their lives' but last night really did. Considering No Doubt was never a band I'd wante to listen to, though I knew their songs, there was something powerful and motivating about it. As much as I shun the term, there was really a lot of "girl power"

Feeling Good...

I recently had an argument with some friends about actions, loyalties and trust. Oddly enough, while I was supposedly the one in the wrong, everything about my actions, loyalties and trust were honest, just not to the person it was intended for. See, I was silly enough to assume that your friends would listen to you vent about others you had issues with rather than accuse you of talking behind backs.

See, I never lied, I was honest about every accusation, and attempted to clear my name, even if no one talked to me.

I noticed though that since not talking to them, I feel happier and more relieved than I thought I would. Probably because I didn't do anything wrong, I was just being human.
I can't say I miss them, because honestly, I don't. I feel whatever the weight was that I was feeling and unhappiness, is all gone. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast when I was hanging out with them and cherish those times, but I'm feeling okay with not being a part of the group... also because I already know they don't want me to be, you just accept things as they are.

I feel good.

Random thoughts from the week...

• I came across Bluegrass Clinic and Flat Lick Medical Clinic.
• Saw the last name Tumbocan... sounds like something you'd call a fat person
• saw a domain name @shhpens.com, for a hospital in Pensacola, but doesn't it look like "shit happens"?

No Doubt Tonight!

I'm pretty excited to go see No Doubt tonight since it's my first official concert. Also because I get to hang out with my friend, Allivall. I will post pictures even though I am the only one who will view this link.

The Power of Coffee

I just went to a local coffee house to get an iced white mocha with soy. As I was ordering, I was pondering if I really wanted it iced because my office is cold, maybe I should get it warm, and then I figured, I would have my iced white mocha with soy, but without ice. The lady looked at me weird that I didn't want ice in my milk... when has it ever been okay to put ice in your milk? Okay, for coffee drinks it makes sense, but it's weird that it's even okay.

As I was walking around the coffee house while my drink was being made, I saw a little seating area with tons of books. I don't understand how a coffee house brings out the intellectual in you. What is it about a caffeine drink, that's supposed to energize you, keep you so mellow as to sit in a chair and become intellectual.

I just find it interesting that no one likes to go to school, concentrate on courses, studies, etc, but put it in a coffee house and bam, it works.

Bitter, I know, but it just doesn't make sense that Coffee can have such power and play such an integral part in unlocking who we are as individuals.

My Polyester Theory

My polyester theory applies to many things.

Polyester is just a material, but why do the patterns and styles have to be the stupidest things ever. 

The polyester theory applies to Prius's too... just because they're economical, why do they have to be the crappiest looking cars... why does anything economical have to be shitty looking

The polyester theory.

Hyphenated Names

I don't get hyphenated names. Part of a marriage is giving yourself to another. Sure it's more the woman who has to do it more often than not, but here's more of what I don't get.

Bachelor/Bachelorette parties: why is it their "last day of being single!!!!" They were not single long before it even came to that point. And besides you still have the same opportunity to do what you want, it's just the morality level changes.

Back to hyphenated names. It's just so much more to write out, it's confusing and when you're a couple and married, you become ONE. The Smith's, The Davis's. You get married because your husband fell in love with who YOU are, not your name and your name should be dropped and his taken.

Or, just keep your own name. Don't hyphenate.

I saw this name today. Dr. McAnally-Dickey

Police find mess at Lindsay Lohan's house... um really!?

Wow, that was reported by People Magazine. Serious! what the hell...

I wonder which magazine I should contact to let them know about the mess in my house. Because I could use the publicity and money. Looks like anything will sell.

I miss...

Meeting friends at various malls: South Coast Plaza, Galleria, Del Amo

I miss meeting them for coffee, going to the beach, touring people in LA

I miss waking up and asking "hmm, amusement parks? beach? what do I want to do today?"

I miss driving an hour one way, sitting in traffic just for the hell of it

I miss LA/Hollywood/OC, driving from LA to OC to see friends for 20 min.

I miss driving from Southern Cali to Northern Cali and spending time with family.

I miss LA traffic. I miss goin to some independent tire shop and getting my tire fixed for $5

I miss the vanity, the hype.

Figuring it out...

I thought of something last night that probably won't make sense to a lot of people, but who cares. This is MY blog for MY thoughts.

I think the life I had in California is the one I would prefer over anything right now. I had a bestfriend, I knew where everything was, I had family, I had friends, I had limitless possibilities, I grew up in a great town, I really had a life I didn't need to or want to give up. But, sure I did. Living in St. Louis has taught me a lot and exposed me to a lot, but at the same time, I feel like a Palm tree uprooted from CA to live in FL. While it can belong in either place, it's still been uprooted.

I don't want what "was." But, I do realize that I need to be returned home.

When I look at myself now and compare it to the life I had, weigh the pro's/ cons, what I like, dislike, if I had to pick one moment to start life from here on out, it would be in California. There are people who like where they move and wouldn't change it and realize that's the life that's meant for them. This isn't for me. I do expect to return to California within 1-2 years. I was so close to returning this year, but now with the new job, I will get myself situated and then I can work from home anywhere. But, I just cannot see myself settling here... at least not now. It's just not for me.

At times, I think I would rather be alone and be near my family/friends/busy life because regardless, I'll be surrounded by love. I can commit to friends and family wholeheartedly instead of out of obligation, which I hate. I sometimes just feel that my life is meant to be there for others, alone, than to be there for 1 person for the rest of my life. Thanks Hollywood and thank you old-time traditions... We live in a time now where everyone has a chance to make the life they want.

Religion/Faith...

Regardless of who you believe in, I think the basic foundation of religion is surrender. Sure there's also faith and trust but it's mostly surrender. When we surrender, we make ourselves vulnerable long enough to trust something else to take our problems, stresses, fears, etc., just long enough to give us time to muster up the strength to deal with them when they are handed back to us.

As for faith and trust, imagine the fears, stresses, and thoughts you have on a daily basis that you feel like no one else could even begin to understand if you expressed it to them. We all would like to have someone we can off load our thoughts to, who can support us regardless. Who can motivate us, encourage us and not judge us.

Be it in the workplace, in the family, on a tour of an unknown terrain, we all want confident leaders whom we can trust blindly.

Religion is faith and trust with rules and guidelines.

My own thoughts, make your own.

Missing the Good old days

I was walking alone in the mall the other day and felt alone and sad.  While I've always been an emotionally strong and like being alone, especially with shopping, I couldn't help but feel sad that I wasn't aimlessly shopping with my mom or sisters.  I just felt so empty and so ripped from what I knew.  

I get sad on occasion and I try to remember the days that were.  But I don't necessarily want to go back to what was but I just want to be able to have it once in a while.  I have girls here and friends here but it's just not entirely what I am used to...

I miss seeing all my family, going over to their houses just because... seeing my cousin perform at gigs, seeing my friends in LA or OC... I've been living in St.Louis for 4 years now and I just cannot get used to this lifestyle.  I don't mind it, but just cannot accept it as "mine"

I miss a lot. I don't want to go back. I just want to get back on my path of life.